Why I Always Look Like I Don't Give A Shit For This Country

I was going to write something about organization, remembering that I just got back from SLET couple days ago. But then I opened my Twitter, read some of tweets from those Indonesian public figures (I don't think I should call them public figure but never mind), and found out that Ahok is being jailed today. Well, to be very honest, I don't really care about it or any kind of our political situation. It's because a) when I was in 8th grade and I did a presentation about politic, I couldn't understand the topic and ended up embarrassing myself for not able to debate about that topic, so I started to hate politic and all things connected to it. And b) karena politik itu jahat banget sejahat-jahatnya orang jahat. Menurut gue politik itu hampir setara dengan membunuh. It can killed yourself, it can killed your friendship, your ideology, your dignity, and so on. So yeah, call me a bad Indonesian for not giving any shit on this country's problems. Karena Capricorn tidak suka terlibat konflik tapi suka menyimak konflik yang ada. Huahaha.

After I scrolled down my timeline, I started to think of myself as a part of this country:

"I've decided to hate our political and other situations for they are so damn wrong and never being done, so, what kind of contribution that I can (or I have) give(n) to my beautiful country?"

Gue sempat menjawab dengan berkarya. Tapi gue langsung sadar bahwa gue belum punya karya yang pantas mewakili Indonesia. Gue berkarya untuk diri gue sendiri, untuk kesenangan gue pribadi. Menggunakan produk lokal, oke, gue akui itu bisa menjadi kontribusi yang sangat besar di bidang ekonomi dan kreatifitas, tapi masalahnya gue jarang belanja barang lokal karena pertama, tokonya kebanyakan online dan gue agak males belanja online dan kedua, mahal. Hehehe.

Terus gue jadi inget essay-nya Jonathan Swift yang dibahas di kelasnya Miss Dhika, tentang ide gila si penulis untuk mengatasi masalah kemiskinan di Irlandia dengan cara menjual setiap anak umur satu tahun untuk dijadikan makanan dan bahan pakaian. Oke, sebentar. Tentunya gue nggak bermaksud untuk ikut melontarkan ide gila gue untuk negara ini seperti yang dilakukan Om Swift, nggak. Tapi yang gue tangkap dari essay itu adalah, itu negara udah bobrok banget cuy pada saat itu (essay-nya keluar tahun 1729) and there was nothing easy to solve that problem. Even if there was something very logical, very easy, and acceptable for everyone (which is very impossible), it would take a long time to resolve the problem. And people didn't have a long time to wait the result of that logical solution. People would running out of patience and I think probably they would get angry at each other and then things would just getting worst.

When we discussed the essay, gue teringat salah satu dosen gue pernah menanggapi satu isu tentang buku cerita anak yang mesum dengan bilang: "Pilihannya cuma dua, seleksi atau menyesuaikan." (Sumpah, gue lupa detail jawabannya apaan. Jadi ini tuh dari grup yang di-cepu-in sama Lutfia, terus di share ke grup gue. Tapi sayang bukti fotonya udah ilang jadi gue agak lupa jawaban si dosen itu kayak gimana. Tapi mudah-mudahan kurang lebih intinya begitu.) Gue menangkap jawaban dosen gue itu adalah, secara garis besar, masalah-masalah di Indonesia nggak akan selesai dengan lo berkoar minta sana-sini untuk mengatasi itu semua. Kalaupun kita pengen bertindak, hasilnya nggak akan sesuai dengan harapan kita karena kita cuma orang biasa yang suka nongkrong di belakang kampus sambil main catur. Oke lah kalau kita adalah seorang yang punya influence tinggi terhadap orang-orang, tapi apakah masalah buku cerita anak itu bakal selesai begitu aja? Face it lah yah, Indonesia itu gampang ke-distract sama satu hal. Lagi ribut ngurusin yang A, tiba-tiba muncul yang B. Yang A belum kelar, tau-tau udah ngurusin yang B. Lagi sibuk nyelesain yang B, yang C malah muncul lagi. Begitu aja terus sampe Dora jadi presiden Spanyol. Jadi ya, ngurusin hal-hal begitu cuma buang-buang waktu dan energi. Daripada begitu, lebih baik urus diri sendiri aja dulu. Kalau tau ada buku cerita anak mesum udah beredar dimana-mana, ya jangan dibeli. Pinter-pinter pilih buku buat anak/saudara/keponakan. Karena percuma juga nge-anjing-anjingin oknum itu kalau kita nggak tau pasti siapa yang bikin. Iya, kan?

Balik lagi ke essay Jonathan Swift, gue melihat situasi yang digambarin Swift hampir sama dengan di Indonesia. We have so much problems here, like, a lot. And things would not getting better if we continuously put the blame on each other, on the government, on some people who we think is the responsible one. No, definitely not. Instead of doing that, why don't we try to bettering ourselves by doing good to everyone we know and everyone we meet. Why don't we try to make ourselves useful for those who need help. Why don't we see everything not only from our own perspectives but also from OTHERS' PERSPECTIVES, so we don't have to become that person who always think he/she is better than the others.

It might be sound selfish, sounds like you don't put so much effort for the country you live in. I do think it is selfish and egoistic, but to be honest, I have nothing more to give for my country. I don't think my thoughts or my speech, or my tweets, or my post on timeline Line, or even this blog post will change Indonesia (I believe those last three things are only to gather people attention and gain some likes or retweets. Don't be so naive, a little part of ourselves would more care about that rather than the purpose to encourage or inform people. Even I did that to myself sometimes). I prefer to start to do something from the closest place I can reach. I prefer to help my friends to study. I prefer to stop using plastic bag not because I want Indonesia to be free from plastic garbage, but simply because I don't want to make myself get used to use plastic bag. I prefer to use public transportation not because I can't ride a motorcycle or car, or I want Jakarta to be free from traffic jam, but simply because it is cheaper and healthier for me. I prefer to not getting involved in many issues in Indonesia because I know I'm not able to give some helps or solutions and also---I don't really care about it.

So why do I have to spend my time and my energy for something that I know would not be affected by my acts, when I'm capable enough to do something for my surroundings and, for myself?